What are you holding onto?
A question which lead me down a path I didn’t anticipate.
This whole idea of holding on really does have its down sides.
I’ve met some great people in my life. Some, I know will be around for a lifetime, some, I know are seasonal.
Every person who has crossed my path has been a teacher in some sort of way, showing me different parts of myself I have yet to meet, or parts I may have abandoned.
One thing I always had a problem with was letting go.
Why, well, I love to love, I believe in love, friendship and working things out. Yet, the biggest lesson for me was that loving someone doesn’t mean you have to hold on to them. Loosening your grip can often result in that person completely fading away, and if so, they weren’t really yours to have.
What is meant for you will never miss you, and with this philosophy, I knew that I no longer had to hold on to anyone or anything.
Opportunities, people, events will flow in and out, and what is meant to stay will stay, and what is meant to go will go, but I will no longer grip onto anything.
The same goes for grudges and heartbreak. With feelings of hurt and pain, I now allow them to flow through me. I make the space to feel, and allow the feelings to stay as long as they need, then, I allow them to wash away with each tear.
Let the issues go, let the arguments go, let the words go, because deep down, the relationship was all a lesson anyway, and the best thing to do is to ensure that you forgive yourself.
No toxic ties lying around in the ethers. Any words they throw at you out of anger are always a reflection of them, so forgive and forget.
Of course letting go isn’t just about relationships, its also about the past. The biggest grip around a persons throat.
I see it in the eyes of many. The shadows of their past lurking behind their eyes. A dark past that lives in their subconscious, torturing them deeply. The chip they hold on their shoulder with pride doesn’t allow them to love. They get caught in a constant cycle of defense and offence.
Notice behind their smile, behind some of the biggest personalities can be some of the deepest pain. A pain so dark that trying to remove it with wealth, materialism or powerful positions will not suffice.
Think about some of the most powerful leaders. Although they may be surrounded in a pool of ego stroking, compliments and fake laughs, one wrong word from the right person, and their light will literally disintegrate into nothing.
The older I get, the more I realize just how rare it is to find people who are truly living a life for themselves.
I meet a lot of people living a life to prove others wrong, striving for success to patch up their wounds and make them feel worthy.
Maybe it was a parent who never told you they were proud of you, a sibling who has always secretly plotted against you, or friends who you keep around mostly because they feed your fragile ego, or remind you of who you used to be.
But at what cost?
Keeping up with a toxic job, striving for unfathomable levels of perfection, living up to societies depiction of success?
From my observations, the plight to societies depiction of material success does nothing but drive people into a lifetime of unhappiness and debt.
But, I digress….
Listen, appreciating what you have and who you have around you, despite how little or big, simple or small, is how I learned to let go.
Letting go sometimes means letting go of old ideas.
Success is mental, happiness is mental, and whatever you can see, mentally you can be physically.
This last part of the year is about being true to yourself, and figuring out what you need to let go of?